Turning 26 and the impending marriage!!!

Here, I am sitting on my couch days till my 26^th Birthday still unmarried. The ongoing arguments about marriage and the uncomfortable stares endured by myself by elders in the community. This still baffles me till date that marriage is part of life not the main thing that defines a woman. I like most other Bengali girls had planned life like a tick list where I will get my university degree, get myself a stable job and get married to the man of my dreams which I have found do not exist. Going through an arranged marriage experience myself I can truthfully say that mothers are one of the reasons behind divorces and domestic abuse as they are the most dominating figure in marriage discussions. The Bengali Phenom of getting married is a mystery in itself whereby a photograph and CV is sole foundation for marriage proposals this is so absurd. This gets circulated to Aunties who sit and nit-pick each picture and CV in a disgusting manner. How can picture and CV decide the fate of two people to add to this it all depends on the daughter’s village in Bangladesh, class, property and level of education. Myself, I was lucky enough that my mother came from a privileged background growing up in a respectable family whereas father’s side I was often overlooked therefore I’m considered an outcast. Beside, all of these factors there’s more to a person what about their caring heart, their manners, maturity this is totally unfair towards Bengalis girls who are being rejected for invalid reasons. This is making my generation of Bengali girls difficult to get married this needs to change for  the generation after me. Nevertheless, I noted from my own experience that the mothers of these so called son’s use their past traumatic experience of their mother in laws to gain power and abuse daughter in laws.  This so wrong they must also remember that they were once daughters to their own mothers who never wanted any harm to touch them. Just because they come from another family does not mean you can torture them they entered your family through a pure relationship so treat them well just as your own. After all, they will bring you future generation of children so forget the past lets treat our daughter in laws like our own and support them with their careers. Not only this, women’s education carries the same weight as man’s education so don’t look down on a bride’s education. I was often told by my parents to compromise my standards to meet the demands of the groom’s side because I’m a woman. But why should I have to change for someone else? You should love someone for who they are including their flaws otherwise the marriage will be based on a lie which will doomed before its beginning. Another, setback in these so called marriage proposals is being ambitious woman with the burning desire to succeed who out smarten their sons these are sexist views held by mothers. Women should be just as ambitions as Men instead of holding our daughter in laws back we need to encourage them to move forward showcasing the best of our talent. Personally, I like ambitious men who are mature, who are willing to grow together and learn from one another. Till then men have a lot work to who need to catch up who can match my expectation that does not mean I’m picky.